Week 4 - My Connections to Play

I find myself very emotional reminiscing for this blog assignment about play and my childhood. So many things have changed: my outlook on life, how I relate to the images in this post, and the dichotomy of how I played as a child and how I play as an adult. I do not know what my parents thought about what or how I played as a child as it was a rare occurrence if mom or dad actually took part in play with my younger brother and I. On the other hand, I also do not remember them ever setting restrictions on my free time either and for this, to a certain extent, I am grateful. I do, however, often remember my friends' parents setting strict rules for their play experiances. "Dont do that" "That's not allowed" "Just cuz Vanessa and Alex are doing that doesnt matter, I'm in charge of you" were uncomfortable phrases which underscored some of my play experiances with friends. I can understand this as well, and I also remember thinking, how come my parents acted (or didnt act at all) differently? I am sure I will ask them one of these days.

Play is a major avenue for learning to manage anxiety. It gives the child a safe space
where she can experiment at will, suspending the rules and constraints of physical and
social reality. In play, the child becomes master rather than subject.... Play allows the
child to transcend passivity and to become the active doer of what happens around her.

--Alicia F. Lieberman, author, The Emotional Life of the Toddler

My little brother was more times than not, essential in my early childhood play memories. We were “partners in crime” growing up, dependant on each other’s stimulation to get through mostly everything. I remember taking turns with him making up the rules of our games, with me admittedly taking advantage of his youth and the privileges of being the “oldest” and as a result “in-charge.” During our turbulent childhoods, in my mind, Alex was a Master playmate because when life was a roller coaster, he always engaged me in some sort of play, his defense mechanism of choice, and this saved me a lot of times and in many ways.  

Since I can remember, I have always loved learning about the ocean and therefore I usually always had a pet fish growing up that I would play with. I did not physically play with him or her, simply made up stories about what they were thinking about in their little bowls. I remember learning about my first Beta fish and being so excited when my brother got one of his own because they could be WWF wrestlers with each other. My brother and I would rough-and-tumble play “showing” them the moves we wanted them to act out.

We grew up, for the most part, living at apartment complexes. I remember when I was young, not appreciating this, always dreaming of a “normal” house, with a yard and climbing trees. However, looking back, I had a blast! There was always something to do, countless possibilities for hide and seek, and it was probably safer being in an enclosed, large area free of traffic. Living in a complex was essential for us because it was what my parents could afford; there were always other kids to play with.

Adults heavily regulate play today I feel. When I was growing up, we had two recesses daily in elementary school and twice weekly gym classes which were usually guided, but still flexible to the wills of students. Unfortunately, I live in a county currently that recess has been gone for a long time, and this will make me think twice when I have children of my own and am contemplating their educations and overall development. As an adult, I still strongly advocate for play. I believe free time, having fun, and managing stressors is extremely important and play allows for each of these.

Listen to the mustn’ts, child. Listen to the don’ts. Listen to the shouldn’ts, the impossibilities, the won’ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me…

Anything can happen, child. Anything can be.
Shel Silverstein, Poet