Week 4: Who am I as a communicator?

This week we completed three assessments regarding communication as well as had others complete the same assessments for comparison of ourselves. These assessments rated levels of communication anxiety-the level to which we feel nervous in situations as opposed to relaxed in others in our ability to communiate, verbal aggression-levels of respect, argumentativeness, etc. regarding our communication with others, as well as determining our listenng styles-on which areas of communication we tend to focus and retain information in communication.

In the areas of communication anxiety and verbal aggression, the scores to which I assessed myself and those of how others rated me were very consistant. Concerning my levels of communication anxiety, when I am in situations where I do not know my place, or do not have enough understanding, or if I am physically in a place that is new to me, I am more likely to be nervous and limit the amount of verbal communication I engage in. However, if I am in a familiar place, with well-known people, communicating about a subject in which I feel confident in my knowlege and experience, then my level of anxiety is low and I am very willing to engage. Concerning verbal aggression, these scores were also consistant. I was raised by two very outspoken, opinionated parents, and so it is no surprise that I tend to be like this as well. However, in the work I do with children and families in the child welfare system, I must learn to remember that I have to be a camelion in my communication styles. I must learn to utilize certain skills at certain times depending on what the situation may call for.

I was very surprised about the scoring of the last category of assessment: Listening styles. I rated myself in group one, indicating that I am mostly "people-oriented" in that I try to be empathic to others and build relationships in order to be effective in my communication and work. However, others rated me in the areas of being "action-oriented" and "content-oriented" which also seem appropriate in how I listen to others during communication. Being skilled in all of these areas of listening is essential in working in child welfare if one is to be effective and promote positive social change.

In reviewing all of the possible outcomes of these assessments, I would find it difficult to COMPLETELY lump myself into any one category as I beleive there are pros and cons to each. I was happy to engage others who know me well to understand how I may be percieved in my communication styles.

I'm a great believer that any tool that enhances communication has profound effects in terms of how people can learn from each other, and how they can achieve the kind of freedoms that they're interested in.

Bill Gates

Week 2 - Communication Skills: Language, Nonverbal, Listening

For our blog assignment this week, our activity includes the following excercise:

As you have been learning, communication is not always straightforward. Everyone, at some time or another, makes assumptions based on messages communicated through body language and facial expressions.

For this assignment, again consider what you have been learning about communication skills and styles. Then record an episode of a television show you do not normally watch. Watch the show with the sound turned off.

• What do you think the characters’ relationships are based on the ways in which they are communicating?
• What are they feeling and expressing based on the nonverbal behavior you are observing?

Now, watch the show with the sound turned on.

• What assumptions did you make about the characters and plot based on the ways in which you interpreted the communication you observed?
• Would your assumptions have been more correct if you had been watching a show you know well?

I have done half of this assignment in the past when I have turned on the Spanish language channels and tried to follow the story line. Usually when I turn this channel on it is either a Spanish soap opera or a talk show, the latter of which is much more difficult to try to imagine what is really happening.

For this assignment, I turned on an episode of “Mob Wives.” I had always been intrigued with the name of the show because my favorite movies are about the Mob including the Godfather Series, Goodfellas, Donnie Brasco, etc. , but haven actually taken the time to watch it.

Without the sound turned on, I could follow that it was a show about women married to men with power based on the fact that all of the women seemed to be married. I also got the sense that though they were married to men with power of some sort, these women were powerful themselves and within their groups of friends. In the episode I watched, it seemed as though two of the women were each planning costume parties. In parts of the episode, there were captions when the women were talking on the phone to each other about the dates of their parties. One of the women seemed upset as her eyes changed shape, and she used her hands to talk even though she was on the phone.

I assumed since they were talking about dates that there was some conflict concerning the women’s parties they were each planning.  The woman who used her hands when she spoke hung up the phone first and with a disgruntled look on her fact, almost as if she was hung up on by the other woman. When I thought about getting into this show and even as I watched it in silence, I assumed that it would be more about the women’s relationships with their criminal husbands, and their families, and less about how the women relate with each other.

When I watched the episode with the sound turned on, I learned that two of the wives were each planning a Halloween party. Since the actually holiday was on a Monday, the two wives were arguing via phone about the dates each would host a party as well as the fact that if they chose the same day, it may cause friction between their “families,” including between their husbands and their employees. Instead of my assumptions that the Mob Wives’ husbands and their relationships with each other, the show focuses on what it’s like to be in a circle of friends whom all are married to mobsters…

Though I think this was a good exercise to test our assumption-making, and for self-reflection purposes. The only thing I could focus on when I was selecting TV show to watch was that there is SO much “trash TV” on these days. I thought about what it would be like to watch a cartoon episode and practice the same exercise, or maybe having my 4 year old Godson try an activity like this, to get a child’s perspective and see his imagination at work.

Week 1: Communication and Collaboration in the Early Childhood Field

For your blog this week, think of someone (e.g., family member, celebrity, politician, friend, or professor) who demonstrates competent communication within a particular context. What behaviors does this person exhibit that make him or her effective? Would you want to model some of your own communication behaviors after this person? Why or why not?

Part of my job collaborating with child protective services and working with children and families involves being properly trained in interviewing clients in order to obtain information about their current situation. This was a task that was very challenging for me at the beginning of my career. This training includes completing a ride-along with one of the child protection investigators. The investigator that I was with was named Kate. The cases we work come from allegations regarding children's safety and well being, and usually include maltreatment in some way. I was very impressed with Kate's ability to not only obtain information from children and their caregivers, but also make them feel comfortable enough to share information with her openly and without much perceived effort on her part. Despite the allegations on the case we went out on being especially egregious, Kate maintained composure and professionalism. She was able to adapt her communication style to her audience. For example, when interviewing children, she was great at using kid-friendly language, showing empathy and building rapport. However for the child's parents, who were very resistant and manipulative, Kate was able to utilize her authority in her communication, yet maintain professionalism to do the job.
After my ride along with Kate, I recognized that while she was very effective in her communication, both verbally and non-verbally, she reassured me that I will be able to develop my own style of interviewing and communicating with our clients. She admitted that there were times when she was talking to the parents, listening to their numerous lies, and for a certain amount of time she played along, but eventually, at the end of the day, our job is to uncover those lies and discuss truth to keep kids safe. She admitted that she does become frustrated and even angry, but those emotions will not get the job done or resolve problems. I do model some of what I observed in my ride along with Kate in the services that I provide with clients, but she was right, since my ride along, I have developed my own techniques of communicating with clients. I try to remember to put myself in their shoes, be respectful of varying communication styles.