Week 4: Experiences with Micro Aggression

An example of a microaggression that I experienced this week unfortunately happened in the workplace. In my job with a child welfare program here in FL, I am one of the youngest caseworkers in my office. Unfortunately, this microaggression occurred from a co-worker onto me. During a conversation about a difficult case she said, “You are so young, Vanessa. You need some time to develop a thick skin, hopefully when you are my age, you’ll get it.” Without going into detail about what those “things” are, I was a bit offended in that a. she assumed that because of my age I was less capable of handling a challenging situation than she. And b. that she made me feel somewhat inadequate because I was handling the situation differently than she.

To be honest, I was frusterated, angry, and took offense to her comment. I take pride in the fact that I am at the age I am and have accomplished what I have in my career and experience working with children and families thus far. While I agree that with time, comes more wisdom, in any situation, I do not think my co-worker’s comments were necessary, constructive, or respectful. Though I do not think she meant any malice, I did address the comments and stood up for myself. I informed her that while I look forward to the professional experiences and wisdom time will bring, it made me feel inadequate and that in such as stressful job that we both do, the office should be a place of cohesion and support, not a place to compare and/or rate each other’s professional capabilities. I also felt relieved that our supervisor was present for this and I did not have to address it further.

My experience with microaggression this week definitely brought home Dr. Sue’s explanation of microinvalidation. I agree that just because ill will or insult is not intended, it does not make discriminatory, prejudicial, or stereotypical comments, behaviors, or environments acceptable (Laureate Education, 2010). I think that sometimes we as receivers of microaggressions must remember a basic psychological principle: when one points out the shortcomings of another, they simply are compensating for those they have with themselves!

References

Laureate Education, Inc. (Producer). (2010). “Microaggressions in Everyday Life” [Video webcast]. Retrieved from http://sylvan.live.ecollege.com/ec/crs/default.learn?CourseID=6284779&Survey=1&47=8983925&ClientNodeID=984650&coursenav=1&bhcp=1

Week 3: Friends', Family, and Colleague's Perspectives on Culture and Diversity

My friend and co-worker Christina is 100% Indian and therefore, we have very different perspectives regarding how culture and diversity play roles in our lives. She discussed with me that her culture and that of her family is very unique in the sense that they identify themselves with the Christian faith. She talked about how this aspect of their culture is viewed as very unique among others within their race and ethnicity. Concerning diversity, having been born and raised in Brooklyn, NY, these cultural differences also shaped how she “fit in with others in school, church, and even just playing in the streets.”

I decided to talk with my father about his point of view about culture and diversity as well. My father is a former US Marine, and during his service had the opportunity to travel to various places around the world including Japan, Germany, and Hawaii, therefore, I knew he would have some interesting things to say based on these experiences. My dad talked about what it was like having to justify to his family that he was marrying and planned on having children with a white woman (my parents met during boot camp) and that this was very challenging, even upsetting to my paternal grandparents. Dad reflected on his time in Japan and talked about how as far as very different and awkward he felt, that being in that part of the world, he felt very welcomed and adapted quickly with the unique mentalities and cultural traditions practiced there. Dad says that he believes culture and diversity go “hand in hand because there are not two people alike in the world, which makes it a very interesting place sometimes.” I totally agree.

Lastly, I chose to talk with my friend Donnie about these two topics. Reflecting on Donnie and I’s friendship, I think he is one of my most interesting friends because we are so different. He grew up in the Midwest with country music (which I am not a fan of), a mostly conservative outlook ( I consider myself pretty Liberal on most subjects), and he shared that there were about 30 people in his high school graduating class (mine was over 800). I thought Donnie would have an interesting point of view about culture and diversity and I was right. Donnie talked about how a person’s culture “basically are all the little things that make people who they are.” “I think diversity, and others responses to things that are different are also part of their culture.” Donnie made an interesting and valid point that I also agree with. Depending on the culture from which one is raised, may set the tone for how accepting, respectful, and appreciative they are about others.

Christina, Donnie, and my father all made some great points that I hadn’t really considered thus far in this class. However, all of them discussed how complex the topics of culture and diversity are. Their definitions of each validate this point. When my father talked about his time oversees and in the Military, I was reminded of the issues of cultural congruence (or lack thereof), as well as the fact that family culture and an individual’s cultures are always evolving.

I was surprised that none of my conversations with Christina, Donnie, or my dad raised the issue of how their genders play into their perspectives on culture and diversity. I consider the fact that I am a woman to be a part of my culture, especially as I listen to my parents, grandparents and the other older people in my life talk about their life experiences.

If you approach each new person you meet in a spirit of adventure, you will find yourself endlessly fascinated by the new channels of thought and experience and personality that you encounter.
— Eleanor Roosevelt, Wife of President F. D. Roosevelt, activist, UN diplomat (1884-1962)

Week 2: Reflections on Family Culture

This is the first blog assignment for my class Perspectives on Diversity and Equity:

Imagine the following:

A major catastrophe has almost completely devastated the infrastructure of your country. The emergency government has decided that the surviving citizens will be best served if they are evacuated to other countries willing to take refugees. You and your immediate family are among the survivors of this catastrophic event. However, you have absolutely no input into the final destination or in any other evacuation details. You are told that your host country’s culture is completely different from your own, and that you might have to stay there permanently. You are further told that, in addition to one change of clothes, you can only take 3 small items with you. You decide to take three items that you hold dear and that represent your family culture.

Blog about all of the following:

A description of the three items you would choose 

How you would explain to others what each of these items means to you 

Your feelings if, upon arrival, you were told that you could only keep one personal item and have to give up the other two items you brought with you 

Any insights you gained about yourself, your family culture, diversity, and/or cultural differences in general, as a result of this exercise

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The first personal item I would include would be a book that my mother and aunts put together chronologically describing the lives and life experiences of my grandparents. I would bring this because it shows documentation and descriptions of many of my roots, which are significant to whom I am culturally. I would explain to others that where I come from and the people in my life have had a profound influence on who I am today as well as what I hope for the future, despite my geographical location.

A second personal item that I would choose would be one of the only gifts I have received from my parents that they collaborated on in giving me, which is a pendant of a Star of David and Silver cross  entwined. My parents came from two differing faiths and in raising me, they allowed my brother and I the freedom to make up our own minds about religion. I have always appreciated this and it is good to know that though their marriage did not last, their efforts in keeping cultural freedom and a respect for diversity present for my our well-being always has.

A third special item I would bring would probably be my I-Pod. Music has always been a significant part of my life. As a child, I remember that both of my parents had music playing all the time. I played instruments during school.  I find that now that I am on my own, I always have to have something playing in my house, when I drive, doing paperwork and schoolwork, etc. I like to keep up with different types of music, changes in trends, etc. I also think that music is a significant part of most cultures. Therefore, if I were evacuated to a foreign place, music may be a good way to assimilate to the new culture, but still represent myself as well.

If, upon arrival to this new country and culture, I was told that only one of these would be possible to bring. I would feel very confused and angry. I would hope I would have the chance to collaborate among my other family members chosen items so that some of everything would be represented for us.

I think this was a useful first blog assignment for this course on Perspectives of Diversity and Equity. Choosing these three personal items was not easy, but the ones I chose represent some very significant aspects of my cultural experiences. It puts diversity into perspective as I did think about the cultural possibilities of my hypothetical new location as well. This excercise reinforces how complex family culture can be and the importance of reflection on ones cultural experiences.